11/10/2008

Lonely Dude Is Lonely


I recently stumbled across this article about a Japanese man who's started an online petition to allow him and his super-nerd buddies to marry "two-dimensional" characters. He's already gathered over 1,000 signatures online, and with the word spreading, many lonely Japanese men seem excited at the chance to "be with" the characters from Manga and Anime that they love. I'm having a hard time deciding for myself if this is creepier than thousand dollar sex dolls or way more normal, since at least the drawn characters have personalities that someone outside of the owner of a doll has given it/her/him.

Another problem that may arise is ownership of said character, not because you own your spouse, but a licensed character is owned by it's creator and/or it's publisher. If this passes, will the husband or wife be able to decide what actions the character takes in cartoons and what kind of merchandising they are allowed to be a part of? The other problem that inevitably will come up is multiple people after the same fictional character, leading to new legal battles over who loves the cartoon more. There's also the tough decisions like if they want to marry someone like Gadget from Rescue Rangers, would that be considered bestiality?


19 comments:

Brandon Graham said...

dude, I support your love of gadget. When I heard about this I had big plans to write long and hard about marying the girl from the old dragon lance comics or Modok or someshit.

The part of the article that I read and thought was nuts was something about this being brought up while gay marrage was still not happening in japan.

Anonymous said...

I love this.

Jesse Reese said...

Maybe Penny from inspector gadget? I had this unknowing crush on her at the time. I doubt she's even legal though.

brandon said...

I'd bang one of the Power Puff girls, I bet they like know how to work their pussy muscles really well, but I'm not sure about marriage. Aeon Flux chick is worth marrying? Pepper Ann had fresh style, maybe her?

Super-nerd bonus would be like, comics characters but like specific to certain creators' versions...

Brandon G said...

" comics characters but like specific to certain creators' versions..."

Word! How much would it suck to think you were going to spend your life with Romita Sr's Mary Jane and you end up with that crazy scarecrow version Mcfarline drew.

samuel rules said...

i think we're all in fourth grade in a 711 right now, it's a little too real for me.

Also, we all ignored BG's Modok comment. Dude, you couldn't have even said Modam??

samuel rules said...

For the nerds in the know:

Moonshine AND peter would marry She-Hulk so Shine could wrestle her and Peter could be carried around all day.

Jesse Reese said...

Yeah, I couldn't really even comprehend that M.O.D.O.C.K comment, haha.

She-Hulk is a good pick except she'd flex her vagine and rip your dick off.

brandon said...

Tim Sale's 'Catwoman' because drunk once at Sammy's I was telling anybody who'd listen how I almost jerked off to her. Plus she rules, she's this rich, stacked chick, some Kim Kardashian type ish

Karen Peltier said...

oh my god, every one of these comments is making laugh way too hard for being in a library at like one in the morning.

Me and Moonshine talked last night about how he would marry Prof. Garbanzo so they could invent shit together. I just want to hang out with Beanish forever but I wouldn't wanna mess up what hes got going with Dreamishness or anything, I just wanna make Look-See shows.

Karen Peltier said...

i can think of way more people in paintings i would do over cartoon characters.

i can see maybe getting down with wolverine, but hes not really marriage material. Bruce Wayne would be pretty cool cause he's smart and we'd be ballin, but he's too fucked for the long term.

david e. ford, jr said...

any or all girls from any or all brandon graham or paul pope comic

david e. ford, jr said...

paintings: totally the angel from caravaggio's original st. matthew penning the gospel painting; you know the one that was refused because matthew's foot was coming out of the painting straight into where the priest's face would be during mass AND his toenails were dirty and the angel's aspect was too overtly sexual and then was destroyed by a bomb (probably american) during WWII? yeah, i know the angel's a dude, he's fucking sexy, right?

Karen Peltier said...

David- Angels are asexual, so it's cool either way.
we saw this academy sketch the other day of a nude male by ingres and i was like DAMN. and also all golden shower jokes aside, Klimt's Danae is pretty great, but maybe thats too overtly sexual so it doesn't count the same.
This is all so topical because we talked about Priapus in my Venetian painting class today and it was fucking giggle fest.

Brandon G MODOK said...

So Modam stands for Mental Organism Designed for Aggressive Maneuvers which just sound half assed next to MODOK's Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing.

Do they even have genitals? And what the fuck is up with her old name SODAM (Specialized Organism Designed for Aggressive Maneuvers)
That name implies an anus at least.

mo-damn!

Monique R. said...

I would cop:
From the Movies:
Disney's Peter Pan
Disney's Prince Eric from Lil mermaid

In comics:
ummmmm...TOR. duh.
I think blazin dudes in this department is totally lacking.

brandon said...

Monique-
Vanth Dreadstar is kinda hot I'm saying.
Dylan Dog?
Gene Colan turns any male character into this like super-sexy soap opera guy...

brandon said...

BGRAHAM!
I'm still pondering this Modam/Modok stuff; pretty much every comment you drop blows my mind.

Peter being carried around by She-Hulk is some icky R. Crumb stuff, but that's sort of who Peter is...

david e. ford, jr said...

i'd probably do it with anything ingres painted--even fruit